Wednesday, April 15, 2009
City of Night...
One of the challenges of modern life is balancing the fundamental need of a spiritual life with the daily demands of our physical existence. It often takes everything we have in us just to pay the rent, pay our bills and put food on the table. Finding time for a prayer life is often a struggle that seems too much trouble to fight for. Why fight for something whose benefits are not immediately tangible? Especially when there are other concerns/problems that are squeaking louder than that empty place inside? Besides, we can fill that empty hole, at least temporarily with other things, most of them not so good.
Well, one would think that living in a convent would muffle all that hustle and bustle, that commotion of which is modern life these days and serenity would rule the days and nights of our fabled existence. Well, serenity I've found out is still elusive. It shyly appears now and again on sunny days spent hiking, or in a quiet afternoon of gardening. Then there is the problem with prayer. Prayer is just as obstinate as a fourteen year old, hard to pin down and cagey with it's messages. Oh, there's the momentary flashes of tear producing beauty, but I'm finding out that it's more of a quality vs. quantity thing. Still struggling with time management. Still struggling with distraction, a busy schedule and an endless To-Do list. What matters is I now have as my only goal "to do the will of the One who sent me", and my sisters assist and travel with me in the discernment and achievement of this shared purpose; this new way of being. And I'm finding that it is the shared experience of living in a loving and God centered community that makes all the difference in facing my challenges.
I'm in the company of my sisters now; and that fact alone makes it a little easier to face the often difficult journey through this modern world.
This City of Night.
This howling desert of a different sort.
The sort of desert where one can live among millions and still be utterly alone.
In other words, L.A.